Personal Stories from those affected by sexual sin
Temptation in the Toolbox
—by C.B., age 19
It all started when I was 9 years old. I was playing in our garage when I found some “weird” magazines in one of my dad’s toolboxes. At first I was shocked by the graphical content of the magazines, so I put the magazines back and was afraid to go into the garage again.
But the images got stuck in my head and I had to back again and again. I started touching myself while reading the magazines. I physically felt great, but at the same time, I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt.
One day I was playing leapfrog with the girl next door. She was 12. Seeing her standing bent over I was reminded of the images from the magazines. Finally, I couldn’t resist and I asked her to imitate some of the scenes depicted in the magazines…
This continued for several years. Instead of playing video games, I would purchase adult videos from high school students. I became completely addicted to watching these videos. I had to pay a lot of money for these videos and I spent all my time watching them. My grades reflected this and it wasn’t long before my parents realized that something was wrong. They suspected drugs. I confessed to alcohol abuse because I was too ashamed to tell them the truth about the toolbox.
I am now in my second month of AA and I am still addicted to pornography. The AA meetings are doing nothing to adress the real problem. I have turned to God for the strength to overcome my addiction. This is how I found your Web site.
How can I tell my parents about my problem? I am afraid they will kick me out, but I know I must tell the truth in the end.
Thanks for your wonderful Web site and helping me realize I am not alone.