Personal Stories from those affected by sexual sin
The Truth of the Scriptures
—by anonymous male, age 19
I would like to share my story of my victory over masturbation through Christ and NOTHING but Christ. When this addiction tortured me, a comforting tale of success is one thing I desperately searched for. I pray that in telling my story now, others will be inspired to conquer this problem in their own lives.
I started masturbating when I was 13 and it pretty much became an instant, daily habit. I gave my life to Jesus at age 17 and proceeded to live a nightmare 16 months of earthly and spiritual desires tearing me apart inside, while appearing fine on the outside. During this time of my life I was not walking with God--I was crawling.
I don’t know how others find it, but I could not bring myself to actively dedicate my life to Jesus in any way while this addiction was eating away at me. If I sinned once I could comfortably repent before God and do my best to avoid that sin in the future, but with an addiction like masturbation I could not truly repent before God because I knew that tomorrow I’d be doing the same thing again. I had little or no permanent relationship and joy with Christ and the only ways in which my life altered was with the things that were easy for me to change.
I still got fired up for God every time I went to a youth conference or a weekend away etc. And I made fresh commitments, even promises to God, that I would never masturbate again. In words—I gave the problem over to God, while in practise—I tried fighting it all by myself. Every time I failed to shake the affliction I became more and more depressed and my faith was severely stunted.
I could talk for hours on how much I hated my life during that time, but there’s no need to dip too much into that area. If you’re reading this, chances are you know how I felt.
Five months ago I was in Bible college, distressed to the point where suicide even crossed my mind. Learning about how amazing God is while coming no closer to experiencing it for myself was a painful thing. And at this point, God really challenged me: if He is real and the Bible is His word, then by stepping back from the problem and letting Him deal with it I will be victorious. If I do not believe this, then there is no point in being a Christian. If I cannot accept one crystal clear statement in His word then I must reject the rest too. But if I accept even one truth—That Jesus is Lord—then I must accept the rest also. If leaving the problem to Him was unsuccessful then it would mean that there is no God—and I know that’s not true.
God had made me a challenge I couldn’t back down from. I scoured my concordance for all the Scriptures I could find that told me I had victory over sin, and used ChristianAnswers.Net to gather whatever other information I could find (Cheers!). Then, with deeply stirred faith, I gave the situation over to God and simply BELIEVED. From that moment on, I began rejoicing that Jesus had delivered me from this 5 year addiction; a deliverance that took place on the cross, but had not been realised until then.
And now my life has changed. Hebrews 12:1 says “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us”. This is exactly how I feel—finally able to run with God and know him deeper than I would have thought possible not so long ago.
The challenge God made to me is open to anyone else who struggles with this problem. I just want to make it clear that NO HUMAN EFFORT IS REQUIRED TO OVERCOME ADDICTION. Simply give the problem to God, rejoice and relax; your troubles are over.