Personal Stories from those affected by sexual sin
Victory Will Be Mine
—by Royette, age 20
I grew up in a Godly Christian home where both parents are Christians. Like most others, I was an active part in the church I used to go to. Everybody looked up to me and I guess I met all their expectations. I don’t remember when it started but it did.
I began to masturbate. It was out of frustration because I thought that I was ugly compared to my other sister and it seemed like my mother always had to find ways to let me know that. Eventually, I did it everyday or whenever I got the chance to.
I hate it because when I masturbate on Saturday, I have to go to church on Sunday morning to lead worship and sunday school. I decided to take drastic measures. Although I own a television, I gave it away so that the temptation of late night TV will not be something that I will have to contend with. Also, I look at no pornographic materials. If I ever get them in my e-mail, I block the address because the Bible says, “I will set no evil thing before my eyes.” I also listen to a lot of praise and worship music and try my best to read my Bible daily. I feel that slowly God is working in my life. I still fight with the thought of masturbation but slowly God is taking the desire away.
I am not totally over it but I have come to realize that God cares about me and that he is always there to help me. Right now, I have a boyfriend and I have purposed in my heart never to have sex before marriage. However, we have had problems of love making but I am finally saying no to him. It is hard regardless of the fact that he is a Christian.
I believe and know that it is a fact. I used to masturbate because I thought that I was worth nothing, or because I was depressed. Whenever the sexual thoughts come to mind, I rebuke them immediately in the name of Jesus. However because of the years of this practise a rebuke is not enough. So I recite 1 Corinthians 10:13,
Hallelujah & Praise the Lord! Victory one day over masturbation, pornographic thoughts and all the other evils will be mine. I believe in God’ saving power and I look hard for the door. Thank you, Jesus.